i think my mom watched the whole time
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
