he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
