I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
