I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
