There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I have aggressive nipples.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
These tits shall not be calmed
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