Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
