I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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