I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
