I want to have your abortion
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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