Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
