I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
My cat gives me a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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