i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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