According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
