Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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