Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
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