Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Randomize
