kristin has been a bad kristin
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
