Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize