New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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