she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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