C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
