Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize