Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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