Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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