i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
