fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Help. Why am I so naked?
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