i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
they're like a gay fantastic four
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I don't deserve a penis
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
