I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
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My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
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Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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