Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
