no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
