i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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