take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
