remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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