So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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