youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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