I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
i think i just lost a toe
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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