No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
