I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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