Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
