So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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