does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
