that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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