Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Randomize
