one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.