Texts From Last Night

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  (334): View more from Alabama

  how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.

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  (334): how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs. http://tfl.nu/0f51
  Replies (19) Good night (749) Bad night (2019)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.

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  (407): i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume. http://tfl.nu/l5xu
  Replies (31) Good night (10496) Bad night (1642)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.

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  (940): She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one. http://tfl.nu/4xsk
  Replies (35) Good night (15606) Bad night (893)
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  (650): View more from California

  This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"

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  (650): This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case" http://tfl.nu/fgo6
  Replies (12) Good night (6573) Bad night (878)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm pregnant just thinking about him.

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  (412): I'm pregnant just thinking about him. http://tfl.nu/pqtq
  Replies (34) Good night (3296) Bad night (4319)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.

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  (218): just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high. http://tfl.nu/mss3
  Replies (23) Good night (2450) Bad night (1095)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo

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  (208): The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo http://tfl.nu/5szi
  Replies (8) Good night (3489) Bad night (626)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think

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  (570): Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think http://tfl.nu/mpe0
  Replies (7) Good night (465) Bad night (1531)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well

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  (641): Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well http://tfl.nu/dscc
  Replies (6) Good night (859) Bad night (683)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)

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  (775): Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume) http://tfl.nu/nwkp
  Replies (6) Good night (1481) Bad night (428)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet

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  (605): You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet http://tfl.nu/kwah
  Replies (4) Good night (982) Bad night (334)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.

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  (505): Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible. http://tfl.nu/eufu
  Replies (1) Good night (325) Bad night (363)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out

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  (770): I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out http://tfl.nu/sd3d
  Replies (0) Good night (403) Bad night (243)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.

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  (480): Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor. http://tfl.nu/8do3
  Replies (0) Good night (388) Bad night (320)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.

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  (989): I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway. http://tfl.nu/fnux
  Replies (1) Good night (230) Bad night (443)

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