You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.