I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
