Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Four minutes until I can fart!
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!