the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
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I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
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God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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