Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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