I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Randomize
