I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
