I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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