all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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