I'm drive I can fine osifer
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
