He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
