I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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