Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
