Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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