I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
