He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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