do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
