he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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