i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
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