I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
