And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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