Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
