our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize