Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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