it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
