So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
